


Hello Goodbye

by round_robin



Series: Not Such a Terrible Life [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Anal Sex, Bisexual Dean, Emotional Hurt, Episode: s04e17 It's a Terrible Life, First Dates, Frottage, Hand Jobs, It's a Terrible Life 'verse, M/M, army cas
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-01 09:12:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2767673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/round_robin/pseuds/round_robin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel and Dean's first date, and their last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. First

**Author's Note:**

> I'm breaking a personal rule here and posting a fic before all chapters are finished. I don't do WIPs, I will finish this. I'm going home for Christmas and I don't know how much writing time I'll get, but I really wanted to post before I left.
> 
> This takes place before the events of "Technicalities" but there's a scene here that's mentioned in that fic. Not beta'd, all mistakes are mine. If you find one, let me know and I'll take care of it.

Sandover was a family company, so it never surprised Dean when his boss brought various young Adlers and Novaks by to meet him. “Dean Smith, one of our stars,” he’d say. “Work hard and you might be like him some day.”

“Dean?” Mr. Adler said, knocking on his door and walking into his office all in one motion.

Hands still typing, Dean put on his practiced smile and nodded at his boss. “Mr. Adler! What can I do for you?”

He shook his head and pointed at Dean’s typing fingers. “Now that’s what I like to see. But if you’ve got a second, I’d like you to meet my cousin. Come on in, Castiel.”

Dean stood up and put on his best business smile, expecting another junior executive to walk in wearing their brand new suit. His smile slipped, mouth falling open when a gorgeous man in an Army Service Uniform walked into his office.

Intense blue eyes on top of a little half smile and Dean felt his knees go weak. It looked kind of forced, but he figured it was more Zach’s presence. The deep blue of the jacket made his eyes glitter even more. Dean didn’t know anything about the military and couldn’t tell one ribbon from another, but the sheer number pinned to Castiel’s chest was impressive enough. He also recognized the green beret in his hand for what it meant. So Zach was here introducing his hot, highly decorated special forces cousin to Dean why?

He managed to close his mouth without looking like too much of an idiot and shook Castiel’s hand. “Dean Smith, good to meet you.” Surprisingly enough, it wasn’t a lie.

“Castiel Novak.”

Mr. Adler pat his shoulder again and Dean felt Castiel’s fingers tense in his hand. “Castiel here is one of the black sheep in the family. I bring him by every chance I get to give him a look at the good life.”

“Yes.” Castiel shifted away, ostensibly to tuck his beret in his waistband, probably to put space between him and his cousin. “Myself, Anna and Gabriel, our black sheep. That’s where a career in the arts will get you in this family.”

Mr. Adler shook his head. “Calling what Gabriel does ‘art’ is rather generous. Dean, Castiel here has just returned from his most recent desert trek. I’m trying to get him in with the right up and comers here, and maybe even sell him on a position as head of security when he’s done with all the Army nonsense.”

The fine line between brown nosing and not putting off the hot guy was not one Dean had to walk often. “Well, I’m sure you’d be great in security. Looks like you’re pretty successful where you are, though.”

Mr. Adler and Castiel smiled at him. _Nailed it_. “Thank you,” Castiel said.

“Sure,” Dean said. Blue eyes twinkled again and the bottom dropped out of his stomach.

“Well, we don’t want to keep you from your work.” Mr. Adler grabbed Castiel’s shoulder and steered him out the door.

“It was nice meeting you!” Dean called after Castiel, but they were already gone. Even though Castiel seemed happy with the Army gig, Dean couldn’t help selfishly hoping he took Zach’s offer. He wouldn’t mind seeing that member of the boss’ family again.

Dean returned to his desk and put the finishing touches on the memo he was typing, Castiel all but forgotten. It wouldn’t work anyways, Dean didn’t date guys. No, he just pinned from afar, hoping to eventually get up the courage. Maybe some day, but definitely not with a bombshell like Castiel. He knew out of his league when he saw it.

An hour later, there was another knock at his door. Dean didn’t look up right away. It was probably Sam, here to grab him for their standing Tuesday lunch. “Hey man, come on in, I’m almost finished.”

“Dean?” The sandpaper and honey voice sent a tingle down his spine. Castiel stood in the doorway, shifting a little from foot to foot, fingers clenching awkwardly at the knob. “It is Dean, right?”

“Yes,” he managed after a few seconds. “I’m Dean. Can I help you with anything?” _Like getting you out of that uniform?_ his mind unhelpfully supplied.

“I wanted to apologise for Zachariah,” he said, stepping into the office. “He can be... unpleasant.”

“No problem. I’m used to it by now.” Probably shouldn’t be this open with a member of the boss’ family, but it was worth it to see Castiel smile. It damn near lit up the room.

“I don’t mean to be too forward, but Zachariah mentioned you were new in town,” he said.

Dean nodded. “Yeah. I’ve only been here about five months. You? He said you just got back.”

“I grew up here, though I’ve been stationed all over. I returned from my most recent deployment a few days ago.” He smoothed his hands down his jacket. “Please, pardon the uniform, I was at a briefing before I arrived here. I am looking to get to know the city again, meeting some new people.” Dean felt sweat trickle down his collar. Did he mean...? “Perhaps you would like to go out sometime?”

A quick knock at the door made Dean jump. Sam popped his head inside. “Ready?” he asked.

Castiel looked Sam over, his tall stature and impressive muscles. Before he could get the wrong idea, Dean said, “Castiel, this is my friend Sam. He works down in tech support. Sam, this is Castiel, one of Mr. Adler’s cousins.”

Sam shook his hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“You as well,” Castiel said. Out of the corner of his eye, Dean saw his shoulders square, the same way they had around Mr. Adler. “I really must be going.” He pulled out his wallet and took a simple military business card from a stack of others. He scribbled something on the back and handed it to Dean. _Captain Castiel Novak_ , it read, with a government e-mail address and a phone number under the name. “My personal cell number is on the back. Please call if you’d like to... get to know a few local places.” He nodded goodbye to them both and headed out.

Dean didn’t have to look to know the idiot grin on Sam’s face, he could damn near hear it. He shoved the card in his pocket and grabbed his jacket. “Let’s go,” he said.

“Dude, you have to hit that!” Sam said. Dean shot a glare over his shoulder.

~

Dean liked women. What wasn’t to like? Soft skin, plush lips, shapely bodies and curves he could cradle in his hands as tight heat wrapped around him. But men, men were good too. Strong arms, strong hands gripping tight to him as they rocked together. Sure, he’d never done any of those things, but he knew what he liked, he just hadn’t found the right person yet. At least, that’s what he told himself whenever another guy would sidle up to him at a bar, eyes heavy with lust. Those were never the right kind of guy, but he had a feeling Castiel might be.

So he called him. Sam had been bugging Dean to get out there and live a little. This was living. It was also a date with his boss’ cousin, which skirted a little too close to Dean’s “no coworkers” rule. But he just couldn’t get Castiel out of his head. Those eyes and his smile, Dean could look at them forever. For once in his life, he decided to take a risk with something other than his stock portfolio.

They met at a bar on the other side of town where there was zero chance anyone from work would be. Dean wasn’t ashamed, it just wasn’t anyone’s business. Yeah, Sam knew, but that was different. The shit they’d been through, Sam was more like a brother.

Dean sipped at his beer and fiddled with the cocktail napkin in front of him. He scanned the bar every few seconds, looking for Castiel. He was a few minutes early, Cas would be here, he was so not being stood up. He exhaled a shaky breath and took a long pull of his beer. What was he so nervous about? This couldn’t be a date. Castiel was way out of his league. Maybe he just wanted someone to hang out with, friends or whatever. That was probably it. Surprisingly enough, that thought calmed Dean. He didn’t need to stress himself. Starting out as friends and letting it possibly turn into something was definitely more his speed anyways.

Dean almost jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand at the small of his back and warm breath on his ear. “Sorry I’m late,” Castiel’s voice purred. The bar was noisy, but nowhere near loud enough to make such close contact necessary. The reassuring idea this might not be a date was totally lost now and the butterflies in Dean’s stomach returned with a vengeance.

He stepped back a little and smiled at Cas. The uniform was gone in favor of a light blue shirt and gray blazer. Dean looked into his eyes and almost forgot to breathe. Date or not, Castiel was definitely too hot for him.

“Hey,” he greeted lamely. “Hope you don’t mind me starting without you. I got here a little early.”

“Perfectly fine.” He signaled the bartender for one of the same. Hand putting a little pressure on Dean’s back, he steered them towards the tables. “Shall we sit?” They found a table in the corner, away from most of the noise of the bar. “I was glad you called,” Cas said.

“Me too,” Dean said, surprising himself. “I, uh, I haven’t done this before. No one at Sandover... knows. Except my friend Sam.”

Castiel nodded. “That’s fine. I can understand wanting to keep things quiet. You needn’t fear any of this will get back to Zachariah.”

“How did you... know?”

“I didn’t,” Cas said. “I’m simply accustomed to going after what I want. If you weren’t interested, it would’ve been a loss, but not unexpected.” His lips turned up into a smile, more real than Dean had seen before. “That wasn’t the case, though, was it?”

The man sitting next to Dean seemed worlds different than the one he’d met the other day. His shoulders were loose and relaxed, his back still straight in a vaguely military posture, but it wasn’t as forced as before. Dean liked this version much better. He started relaxing too. Everything at work was so far away, he could enjoy the night.

They talked about Dean for a little, his time at Stanford and his family back in California. “It must be hectic coming from such an extended family,” he said. “I only have the one sister, Jo. I can’t even imagine.” He started counting his boss’ cousins at first, then the number hit the low thirties and he gave up. Large family didn’t begin to cover it.

Cas nodded. “It can be trying. Most everyone works at Sandover except me and my fellow black sheep.”

“I don’t mean to pry,” Dean said, “but you seem to be in a good place. Any family would be proud to have a son in the special forces.”

“Thank you,” Cas said. “For the most part they are very supportive, that was just Zachariah being an ass. He has... very specific ideas about success.”

“What did the other black sheep do to butt against Zach’s ideal?” Dean asked.

“My sister Anna is a graphic designer. Our cousin Gabriel is in pornography.”

Dean nearly spit out his beer. “Really? Zach’s my boss, but man that’s a douche move, throwing you in with that.”

Cas shrugged. “I’m used to it. Most of my assignments are classified and I can’t say much. It makes him think I don’t do much. I know where I am appreciated though.”

Dean only meant to have one beer, but he was enjoying himself. Cas was intense and he couldn’t help getting swept up in it. For the first time in a while, he was having fun. As the night wore on and they continued to talk, Dean felt Cas’ knee brush his and a pleasant tingle spread through him.

He was almost done with his third beer when he felt a hand settle on his knee. Deep blue eyes met his and Cas leaned in, lips brushing the shell of his ear. “Perhaps you would like to go elsewhere? Back to my place? Only if you’re comfortable, of course.”

Dean heard himself saying yes before he’d even thought about it. This was crazy, but he couldn’t help himself. Something about Cas had pulled him in and he never wanted it to let go.

The warm weight of Cas’ hand stayed on the small of his back as they left the bar and got a cab. Cas sat right next to him, their thighs pressed together, his arm draped behind Dean but not really touching him. Castiel led him up to the apartment, his hand on Dean’s back the whole way up in the elevator. God, he wanted that hand to touch him all over, leaving fire in its wake as it caressed his skin and stroked off his cock. Dean wasn’t used to thoughts like this. He found he didn’t really care.

The hand finally disappeared when Cas went for his keys. “Please, pardon the mess. I just got back a few days ago and haven’t had a chance to put things in order.”

“No problem,” Dean said. The locked clicked open and Cas took his hand, leading him inside.

Cas must be using some different definition of “mess,” because Dean didn’t see a damn thing. The apartment was practically empty except for a few boxes stacked in a corner, a couch, and a coffee table. “It’s nice,” Dean offered as Cas took his jacket and hung it up in the closet, also filled with boxes.

“Thank you.” The hand returned, this time fingers stroked up and down, sending shivers down Dean’s spine. “Would you like anything to drink?”

“Not right now.” Plush lips smiled at him and Dean couldn’t take it anymore. He leaned forward, closing the gap between them and sucking Cas’ bottom lip between his.

The faint hint of cherry chapstick washed across Dean’s tongue. He wanted more, wanted to know if he could taste their drinks on Cas’ tongue, but he wasn’t that brave and pulled back quickly. He felt heat rising in his cheeks and cleared his throat. “I’ve been wanting to do that all night,” he mumbled.

Cas smiled. “I’m glad you did.”

He buried his fingers in Dean’s hair, pulling him into another kiss. Dean’s lips parted almost automatically and Cas gladly accepted the invitation. He wrapped his other arm around Dean’s waist, dragging him closer.

Dean was man enough to admit he almost swooned right there. The more they touched, the more he wanted, until the soft caress of Cas’ lips wasn’t enough. He popped the top button of Cas’ shirt, letting his fingers rest on the next one. “Is this okay?” he asked.

“It’s perfect,” Cas whispered. He kissed Dean again, this time, breaking away from his lips to trail kisses down his neck.

A warm, wet tongue swiped across his Adam’s apple and Dean moaned, his fingers shaking against the shirt buttons. He managed to get himself together enough to finally finish unbuttoning Cas’ shirt. Cas did the rest, shrugging it off and grabbing Dean’s hips. He threw them down on the couch, grinding against Dean.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean moaned.

The attempts to get his own shirt off were abandoned in favor of touching Cas everywhere he could and Cas took over getting them undressed. He unbuckled their belts and pulled Dean’s cock from his boxers. Cas on the other hand, wasn’t wearing any underwear. He couldn’t decide which was hotter: Cas going commando on a first date, or said date ending up with half their clothes off on his couch. This was most definitely the craziest thing Dean had ever done.

Licking his palm, Cas took them both in hand and started stroking. “Fuck!” Dean cried out. Only two strokes in and he already felt like he was going to come. Cas knew exactly where to touch him, fingertips rubbing across the head with every upstroke, thumb massaging his sack on the way down. And his grip was perfect, not too tight, but not too loose either. “Cas,” he moaned. “Cas... oh, fuck, fuck!”

His hips stuttered and bucked as he came. Cas watched the strands of come cover his hand with wide eyes. “Yes,” he grunted. His cock twitched and he came all over Dean’s spent cock.

Dean collapsed back on the couch, chest heaving. It was his first ever date with a man and he ended the night covered in come, half his clothes still on. “That,” he panted. “Was...”

“Yes,” Cas said. “I agree.”

“I’ve never done anything like that before,” Dean said.

Cas nodded. Their eyes locked and Dean was drowning again, lost completely to this man, and he never wanted to be found again. “Is it something you’d like to repeat?” he asked.

Dean didn’t have to think about his answer.


	2. Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas and Dean's last date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is going to be a sad chapter. In "Technicalities," I talk about how Cas was cruel when breaking up with Dean. I didn't really have anything specific in mind, but I think this works with their relationship and what happened in the previous parts of this series. Just remember: this takes place before "Technicalities," so everything is happy eventually.
> 
> Not beta'd, all mistakes are mine. If you find a typo, please include it with your comment and it'll be caught and shot. Enjoy!

Castiel let the methodical chopping clear his mind. First, with the peppers, then the scallions, and chicken. He now had a small mountain of vegetables next to him, far more than he’d need. It wasn’t easy to block out the day he’d had and he might’ve gone a little overboard, but it was necessary.

He knew this was coming and he’d let himself slip into denial regardless. Meeting Dean shocked him out of his regimented life. He’d never met someone so convinced of their own ordinariness, they couldn’t see how exceptional they truly were. Dean was like fire, and air, and water, existing together at once: so hot and passionate, Castiel was afraid to get too close, yet he was also necessary for his very being. He wanted to lose himself in Dean and never emerge. And for four glorious months, he’d done just that.

He should have known the universe wouldn’t abide his happiness much longer.

Castiel was in possession of... certain skills the military found useful. He was a good soldier, would do his duty, regardless of who he might be leaving behind. He’d done it before and never doubted his ability to do it again. At least, that’s how it was before Dean.

Today in his meeting, he sat in his service uniform, hand worrying at the edge of his beret. Once upon a time, his uniform felt like a second skin. He knew where he stood when he wore it, and what he stood for. Now it grated against his skin, too loose in some spots, too tight in others. He hadn’t gained any weight since the last time he’d worn it and this was all in his head. Didn’t mean he liked it.

Castiel had been in many mission briefings over the years, yet he couldn’t remember the words “risk,” or “danger,” or “high possibility of capture” being used quite this much. “I won’t lie to you,” his commanding officer said. “This one is a big risk. More than we’ve ever put you in before.”

“I understand,” he said. “Yet, it is deemed necessary for the ends?”

“Yes.”

“Then I accept.” They offered to let him sleep on it but he declined. He was a soldier first and foremost. If he was needed to serve the greater good, who was he to question it? He read the mission parameters carefully, noting the likelihood of him returning this time was far less than he’d ever faced. He was at peace with the idea. Now all that remained was telling Dean.

He spent the day cooking dinner—multiple sources on the internet suggested it for breaking bad news—and rehearsing what to say. That was more difficult than he’d imagined. While he’d like nothing more than to come out and say it, he suspected this was the sort of thing to ease into. Castiel wasn’t good at easing into anything. Add in the classified nature of the operation and there was hardly anything he could say to begin with.

By the time he heard Dean’s key in the door, the dinner was ready but he hadn’t figured out what to say. How could he tell the truth without actually telling the truth?

Dean came around the corner and set his briefcase down. “What’s all this?” he asked and pressed a kiss to Castiel’s cheek.

He shrugged and continued setting the table. “I thought I’d make dinner tonight. Is that so strange?”

“Uh, yeah. Whenever we have dinner in, it’s from a takeout container.” Dean’s eyes skated over the table, taking in the wine glasses and candles before flicking back to Castiel. “Is something going on?”

He sighed and finished putting out the silverware. “No. What would be going on?”

“Cas, you suck at lying. Tell me what’s up.”

 _No_ , he wanted to say, _I only suck at lying to you_. “All the websites suggested a fond gesture when breaking bad news.”

Dean’s whole body tensed. “Bad news? What bad news?”

“This is not at all how I planned it,” Castiel mumbled to himself.

“Planned what?” Dean grabbed his hands, pulling them close. “Just tell me what you’re trying to say. You’re starting to freak me out.”

Castiel lifted his chin and looked Dean in the eye. Green tinged with honey looked back, brow creased with concern. Oh, he was so in love with this man, and now he’d have to hurt him to make this easier for both of them. “I had a meeting with my commanding officers today. I am being deployed again.”

Pretty lips parted and Castiel hardened his heart. He saw it all before it happened: he told Dean he was leaving, and he would be sad. But his inability to accept a loss would lead to promises to see Castiel again, to wait for him to get back and pick up where they left off. He would say that he didn’t care how long it took, they had a good thing and Dean wanted to see it through. Castiel didn’t have the heart to tell him the odds of his returning, and he couldn’t bear the guilt of Dean never knowing, the Army only notified next of kin, and no one really knew about their relationship. He’d never know and Castiel couldn’t allow that. He saw it now, after a day of fretting over what to say, the answer was so clear and simple: he had to make sure Dean wouldn’t want him to come back.

“So soon?” Dean asked. He stepped back and ran a hand through his hair. “You’ve only been back, what? Four months?”

Four months, eight days, twenty hours. Four months, four days and eight hours since he’d first set eyes on Dean. It wasn’t enough, it would never be enough. “They need me,” he said. “I have to go.”

Dean swiped a hand across his face, covering his eyes for a moment. “Yeah.” Castiel heard the tightness in his voice. He didn’t mention it. “It’s your job, I know. How long are you going to be gone? Do you know yet?”

“Eighteen months,” Castiel lied. His special missions hardly ever lasted that long, especially this one.

“Wow.” Dean shook his head. “How long do w—you have? When do you leave?”

“Tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” Dean stepped back. He blinked quickly, keeping tears at bay, no doubt. “Seriously? Can’t they give you a little more time? To—”

“To what, Dean?” Castiel snapped. “To say goodbye? That isn’t necessary for me. I will serve when I am called, it’s my duty. And if I am deemed essential for the operation, the sooner I’m there, the better our chances. I can’t let anything distract me from that.” He closed his eyes and took a breath, anger cooling as quickly as it had appeared. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. My job is important to me, I help save lives. I simply wish to continue doing that. I thought... I was hoping, we could have one last night together. If you’ll still have me.”

“I’m sorry too. I know it’s important. It’ll be hard, but we could stay in contact.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he said. He looked at the floor as he said this, unable to face Dean’s eyes again. “I can’t afford distractions while in the field.”

Dean’s mouth clicked shut and he ducked his head too. Castiel wanted to grab him and kiss the frown off his lips. _I’m lying_ , he wanted to say. _I just don’t want you to mourn my death_. “Okay,” Dean said finally. “That’s your call.”

“Is it still... possible for us to spend tonight together? I would like that.”

“Yeah, we can do that.” Still not looking at Castiel, Dean frowned at the table. “Thing is, I’m not hungry anymore.”

“Neither am I.”

Castiel wasn’t sure who moved first, the only thing that mattered was Dean’s lips against his. Pulling at the knot of his tie, he started stripping Dean out of his clothes. Flicking open the buttons of his shirt, Castiel smoothed his hand over the tanned skin of his chest, feeling Dean’s warmth. He’d miss it. The heat and sweat of the desert was nothing compared to the living warmth of a body, especially one he loved so dearly.

Dean shrugged out of his shirt and started on Castiel’s buttons, teeth latching onto his bottom lip and urging him back towards the bedroom. They tumbled into bed, clothes leaving a trail behind them. Castiel let his hands wander across Dean’s chest and over his hips, trying to memorize every part of him. If he wasn’t going to see this man again, he wanted to remember all he could.

Dean’s expensive sheets cradled them, sliding against their bare skin. Castiel pressed kisses to Dean’s neck, slowly working down his body. “Cas!” he gasped. Fingers smoothed through his hair and Castiel let himself get lost for a moment. He slid his hand between Dean’s back and the bed, urging him to roll over so he could continue placing kisses across his shoulders and back. He reached over and opened the top drawer on the beside table, retrieving the lube.

“Mmm, yeah,” Dean moaned as Castiel swiped lubed fingers across his hole. He tilted his hips to get more. Castiel would give him anything he wanted.

“You’re wonderful,” he whispered against Dean’s neck.

He took his time. He knew that they were both desperate to feel the other, but Castiel wasn’t going to rush this. When he finally sunk inside of Dean, they both moaned. “Fuck yes,” he growled into the pillow. Castiel reached up and threaded their fingers together, then started to move.

Each thrust of his hips made Dean’s breath hitch. Castiel buried his face in the back of his shoulder, biting at the muscle and licking a stripe across salty skin. Yes, that was fitting, a small parting gift only he knew about: a bright red mark sucked into his back. Dean wouldn’t even know it was there. He sucked at the skin until he was satisfied it would stay for a few days. A few more days of his presence in Dean’s life.

The feel of Dean’s body under him, the moans and groans of pleasure, it was too much. Just for one moment, Castiel let himself slip. “Maybe, if I make it back...” he clamped down on the words. He hadn’t meant to say that, he didn’t want Dean to know there was any chance he might...

Thankfully, Dean didn’t seem to hear him. He pressed a hand between his belly and the bed and wrapped his fingers around his cock. “Cas, Cas!”

Castiel felt Dean’s muscles go taught. He tried to hold himself back for one more moment, long enough to make sure Dean was satisfied, but the way he moaned and arched was too much. Castiel squeezed his hand and shouted into Dean’s neck. His hips bucked and he came, white covering his eyes for one last moment.

He didn’t want to let go but he rolled off anyways. Rolling Dean out of the wet spot, he gathered him up in his arms. They didn’t speak for a long time, until Dean whispered, “I’ll miss you.”

Castiel didn’t know what to say to that. He knew they should clean up and change the sheets before they became too comfortable and fell asleep, but he wanted this moment. Just this one last moment to hold Dean and remember what he had. Castiel pressed a kiss to the back of his neck and mouthed _I love you_ , into his skin. He may not be brave enough to say it out loud, but he’d be damned before he left without doing something. Even if Dean would never know, it was enough for Castiel.

They drifted off to sleep before cleaning up.

~

Dean woke in the middle of the night, sticky and gross. Well, that’s what he got for not taking care of the mess before falling asleep. He got out of bed, walking to the bathroom to tidy up. Once he was clean a no longer smelled like sex, he called through the door, “So how about round two?” If this was their last night together, they might as well make good use of their time.

Cas didn’t answer. He walked back into the bedroom and stopped cold. The bed was empty. Cas’ clothes were no longer crumpled at the end of the bed and Dean saw something shiny on the bedside table: Cas’ key to the apartment.

Reality hit him like a truck. Cas said he didn’t want to stay in contact, that Dean was a... distraction. Sure, it had only been four months, but Dean fell hard for Cas, he hoped it was mutual. Now, it looked like he was just someone to pass the time with.

That was fine, it was okay, it shouldn’t bother him. So why did it? Why did his knees suddenly buckle? He leaned against the door frame and slid down to the floor, holding his head in his hands. He was a grown man, he’d had breakups before, just not with anyone he loved. Yeah, they’d never said the words and maybe it was a little too soon, but Dean was man enough not to lie to himself.

Tears leaked out of his eyes even as he grit his teeth. Cas didn’t want him, that was fine. Dean would manage, like always. He got himself together and went back to bed. He had work in a few hours.


End file.
